Thursday, June 7, 2012

The addiction part rearing its ugly head.

Oh I have to say my struggles have begun...I have re found where my eating has gotten me to where I am today, addiction. It is what has comforted me, protected me, been my "companion" so to speak and now my body is rejecting it, but mentally it is still all those things to me. Needless to say I am dumping and vomiting allot these days as I try to fight my body and it wins. We say in my family our "love tank" is full or empty or needs some extra and see lately my love tank has been on the way empty side, I can't hold my baby, I can't sleep with my husband, everything has become that I am a patient not a mother or wife and in life I have turned to food if such situations arise that my love tank is empty food filled it in some odd way. But now it can't, it makes me physically ill. So as I battle what I knew even tho I prayed wouldn't rear its ugly head I ask for prayers that I can find my strength in Gods love to fill my love tank and remember "this too shall pass"

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